A Poem on the road

Hi et al.

Today I was walking do the road enjoying the delightful heat with the Mutt and having a merry ol' time. As one was crossing a road, I saw a piece of paper. Now, normally i don't pick up litter, I tend to curse the people who create it (usually whilst throwing a empty cigarette pack to the floor). But as I was in a happy, sunny and general good mood, I though I shall pick it up, throw it away and be a good member of society.

So, I pick it up, head towards the bin but decide to look what was the on paper. So I unfold the A4 sheet and have a look. What I found was a little surprising. A Poem called Choices which read;

"Life can be as good as you choose to make it,
You choose to make it hard
You choose to make it difficult
You choose to make it tough
Your choice is paramount to any happiness, joy and success you can achieve,
So choose your life
Choose you path
And choose the people around you
And just try to have fun".

I like it. Its...insightful. And coherent. And well...just good.

Now, the reason for my shocked tones is I don't live in the most intelligent and well spoken area of town. Old people and drunken scally-wags fighting on the road tends to be the order of the day......no, really.

Who threw it away? Why did they throw it away? So many questions. Well, two. So random neither the less.



Oh, and new photo.

Lets get pretentious!

So...hi.

I've decided (in a slightly sleep deprived state) that I need to become yet more pretentious, because 'writing' a blog just isn't flowing the ol' stuck up my own arse juices any more.

I've decided that photography and the editing of said pictures is for me.





This is the first picture. Unedited.







And heres the same image but edited.



Thoughts....erm....Frankie?

A letter to the Gods........of the internet...

Dear Stumble-upon,

Please make you website less interesting and entertaining. One has spend 5 hours (tonight alone) pressing the magical and wondrous button in the top left hand corner. Sleep is needed and being trapped in the cycle of random webpages and blogs is not healthy nor beneficial (unless you want to know the top 10 places you CAN'T go in the world or McDonalds menus around the world).


Yours Faithfully,

Jamie Landi
(aged 19 and 315 days)

3 Interesting facts about Avatar

Okay, so, here are my three "interesting" facts I found out, whilst watching the new James Cameron "epic" Avatar.

1) The way the 3D works is by having different levels off 3dness (shut up, its a word). If you have a character who is speaking, they will be the main image and will be in a stronger level of 3Dness. Then the secondary image will be in a less amount 3D blur and so on and so forth. This gives the film the layered affect.

This took 25 minutes to work out.

2) If you have a touch screen mobile phone and look at the screen, it will become multi-coloured.

1 minute to work out, 5 minutes to fliddle with the phone.

3) Sigourney Weaver had worked with Cameron before on Aliens. Sam Worthington hadn't worked with Cameron although Sam was in the newest installment of the Terminator franchise. Something which Cameron had worked previously.

1 minutes to work out.


25+1+5+1=32 minutes

162 minutes, the lenght of Avatar

32 minutes not paying attention

162-32=130minutes

So I had to watch the Absolute fucking shit storm that is the "future" of Cinema for 2 hours and 10 minutes without anything to do.

How can so many actors both over AND under act in the same scene?

Listen, Cameron, Arney isn't in this films, pathetic one-liners won't work!

Nothing NOTHING in life should be 2 hours 42 minutes long. An hour and a half would have been fine.

A 162 minute lecture about the environment and the destructive nature of humans will never be fun, regardless of the impressive for bit 3D.

Come on, you can see if a script is poor even before you start the film!

Cameron, I want my.........well, Frankie's money back.

You can have my glasses as well.

The farce that is Reality Tv - Part Two

So, the X-Factor.

It shit.

Simon Cowell- Blah blah blah hair blah blah blah trousers blah

Dani Minougue - blah blah blah her sister blah blah blah homophobe blah

Louis Walsh - blah blah blah lap dog blah

cheryl Cole - blah blah blah Wheyeye Blah blah blah Cashly blah


It's rubbish dont watch it...

The farce that is Reality TV - Part 1

So, my first proper blog time. I though I'd make it a big'un. So here we go, reality Tv.

Big Brother - Talentless losers who have nothing better to do for 12 weeks, clearly not going to end well! Let's just look who's come through and made a "name" for themselves shall we?

Jade Goody: By far the most successful for all housemates ever. That's right the ugly, fat, stupid, racist and self obsessed prick pretty much sums Big Brother up. The fact she became a multi-millionaire though being ugly, fat, stupid, racist and self obsessed is staggering. People actually shed a tear for her when she died when 18 months earlier she was public enemy number one. They were all hypocrites.

Brian Belo: Yeah you remember him, you know, the black guy who won Big Brother 8...no? Still don't remember him? Well apparently, according to the ever reliable source Wikipedia, he is a UK TV personality, columnist, actor and singer. No, still don't remember? OK lets move on then.

Brian Dowling: The former holiday rep and air steward (I can't see him in any other career, the stereotypes are true it seems) won Big Brother 2. Now, I'm about as homophobic as gay porn but Jesus Christ tone it down a bit. I don't dress in T-Shirts which say "I love fanny" and pump iron for hours on end, so why on God's green earth does he have to act in this way? OK, your gay, get over it. Everyone else did the moment you said you like a piece of bum. Anyway, went into TV. Worked on shows like SMTV Live, LivingTV's Celebrity Extra and can be found talking shit on The Mint, a fixed quiz show at 4.30 on Tuesday mornings. Properly.

Kate Lawler: Who? Is a presenter apparently.

Nadia Almada: Portuguese transsexual. Can't be true because I'm sure I'd remember her.


There have also been countless spin offs of Big Brother. Celebrate Big Brother the Main. Winners include Jack Dee (really?), Bez Berry (the half-wit from the Happy Mondays) and Ulrika Jonsson (took some time off nobbing Notts County's Sven). What good can ever come from A M Lister's (excel joke there) spending time together. Racism, Homophobic behaviour and tantrums were common.

Although the Celebrity Hijack Big brother was actually rather good. People with genuine talent trying to get themselves sponsors and publicity, not so bad. I don't mind being used also long as I'm known. The big Scottish guy, John something won. Was pretty good.

As part one of my reality TV rant comes to a close, I feel the most depressing part of the whole Big Brother experience would be people, in there millions, would watch 12 sycophantic nobodies act to feed there own already massive egos and enjoy it. Sad indictment on the human race I guess.

Next week, do you have the X Factor?

It begins

For the ones of you that may read my pointless and time wasting posts, I welcome you.

I guess I should say a few things about myself. So here are a few inane facts that you might like to know;

I work in retail. Job position: Lap Dog.

I'm about as left wing as you can possibly be without actually hugging trees and recycling.

I'm obsessed with football. Name a player and I can pretty much tell you their playing history. Because I'm ever so dull.

I don't like arrogant, thick and self-righteous people. I'm the only arrogant, thick and self-righteous person you need to know now.

I like music.

Contrary to wide spread beliefs, I like Women.

So thats me.


Posts comments/views/hate mail at your own wish. Say whatever you want, as long as you are OK with other views and points being different to yours. If your not, then fuck off, seriously, just fuck off. I'll try and post once a week or fortnightly, but i have a major lack of drive and motivation so I doubt that will happen, but hey, not many people will read this so it won't really matter now will it.

As the title suggests, It has now begun.