The farce that is Reality TV - Part 1

So, my first proper blog time. I though I'd make it a big'un. So here we go, reality Tv.

Big Brother - Talentless losers who have nothing better to do for 12 weeks, clearly not going to end well! Let's just look who's come through and made a "name" for themselves shall we?

Jade Goody: By far the most successful for all housemates ever. That's right the ugly, fat, stupid, racist and self obsessed prick pretty much sums Big Brother up. The fact she became a multi-millionaire though being ugly, fat, stupid, racist and self obsessed is staggering. People actually shed a tear for her when she died when 18 months earlier she was public enemy number one. They were all hypocrites.

Brian Belo: Yeah you remember him, you know, the black guy who won Big Brother 8...no? Still don't remember him? Well apparently, according to the ever reliable source Wikipedia, he is a UK TV personality, columnist, actor and singer. No, still don't remember? OK lets move on then.

Brian Dowling: The former holiday rep and air steward (I can't see him in any other career, the stereotypes are true it seems) won Big Brother 2. Now, I'm about as homophobic as gay porn but Jesus Christ tone it down a bit. I don't dress in T-Shirts which say "I love fanny" and pump iron for hours on end, so why on God's green earth does he have to act in this way? OK, your gay, get over it. Everyone else did the moment you said you like a piece of bum. Anyway, went into TV. Worked on shows like SMTV Live, LivingTV's Celebrity Extra and can be found talking shit on The Mint, a fixed quiz show at 4.30 on Tuesday mornings. Properly.

Kate Lawler: Who? Is a presenter apparently.

Nadia Almada: Portuguese transsexual. Can't be true because I'm sure I'd remember her.


There have also been countless spin offs of Big Brother. Celebrate Big Brother the Main. Winners include Jack Dee (really?), Bez Berry (the half-wit from the Happy Mondays) and Ulrika Jonsson (took some time off nobbing Notts County's Sven). What good can ever come from A M Lister's (excel joke there) spending time together. Racism, Homophobic behaviour and tantrums were common.

Although the Celebrity Hijack Big brother was actually rather good. People with genuine talent trying to get themselves sponsors and publicity, not so bad. I don't mind being used also long as I'm known. The big Scottish guy, John something won. Was pretty good.

As part one of my reality TV rant comes to a close, I feel the most depressing part of the whole Big Brother experience would be people, in there millions, would watch 12 sycophantic nobodies act to feed there own already massive egos and enjoy it. Sad indictment on the human race I guess.

Next week, do you have the X Factor?